You Are Not For Me, But I Still Think You Are

I will never have the courage to say this to anyone. Okay, maybe I will change my mind and blabber all of these things to my friends eventually, but know that I am a big, fragile ball of emotions right now; and it’s because I am in a state of rock-bottom vulnerability. You will never know.. you will never know that every time you arbitrarily visit our school, somebody ‘s day—my day is brighter than any other sunny day.

And I will never have the courage to thank you for making me realize that yes, somebody might just be listening to silly wishes, because after all, part of my wish have come true. That’s another thing you will never know—that at some point in my boring life, I asked for someone like you. The only sour thing is, you came to pass by and not to knock on my door.

I will never have the courage ask your name. And I already do, but it’s nice to have proper introductions, and trust me when I say I have come up with every romantic way it could happen. Will they ever get out of my overactive imagination and solidify right in front of me? I guess, I will never know.

I will never have the courage to tell you to visit more frequently, because who am I to ask for your time? You will never know that I always picture you with me, and how I always promise to be myself if you would give me a chance, because I know we would be perfect. You just have to see me, talk to me, know me; but you will never.

I will never have the courage to tell you that this week is the best week of my life, because you were almost always present. You will never hear my voice nor see me look at you, because if there’s something worse than a coward, then that’s me.  You will never know that this is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt like this again.

I will never have the courage to tell you all of these, and I wish courage is just a shirt I can wear, because I really, really like you. You will never know that I’m tired of acting like a lady waiting for your move, because I know the meaning of “unrequited ” and “impossible”. I wish I weren’t a coward. I wish you’re not out of my league.